SWTOR (Star Wars The Old Republic) characters: What Jobs Would They Carry in Our Universe?

Written by Renata Sancken Friday, 01 June 2012 09:07

Everything seems cooler in space. Look at RD-D2—he is an extremely popular character, but he is pretty much a combination of a Garmin GPS, a welder robot and a movie projector. C-3PO is basically a British Siri. So, let's take a look at what your awesome SWTOR character would be if they lived in Kentucky, not Corellia?

Republic:
Trooper: Marine

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Semper fi. The troopers don't have mystical powers, they just work hard and kick some ass. Fact: both Marines and Republic Troopers believe themselves to be better than the Coast Guard.

Smuggler: Drug Runner

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Sorry. I know Han Solo makes being a smuggler look super glamorous, but in our world, it's not about rescuing princesses. It's about sneaking balloons filled with contraband across the border in any way possible.

Jedi Knight: Snake Handler

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Seriously. Some guy in a brown robe comes up to you and tells you he has special powers from some kind of mystical force? Okay, crazy, you'd better get back to your bunker to wait for the End Times. Take your creepy pets with you.

Jedi Consular: Celebrity UN Goodwill Ambassadors

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Think about it. Did anyone elect Jedi Consulars to power? Or did they just show up, all charismatic and glamorous in a fancy Jedi cloak, and try to influence Senators and governors that they had some kind of superior insight into the way the world works?

Empire:

Bounty Hunter: Bounty Hunter

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Yeah, we have bounty hunters in our universe. They're just not quite as cool as Star Wars bounty hunters. Can you imagine Boba Fett competing with Dog the Bounty Hunter to bring in bros who are behind on their child support? I can, and it's hilarious. I hope there is fan fiction of that somewhere.

Sith Warrior: Terrorist

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No regard for conventional morality, only the desire for power. Still, they can be very charismatic and inspire men to follow them to their deaths.

Imperial Agent: Anonymous

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Deep undercover, this collective has skillfully shut down the FBI and the DOJ websites, among others. They troll on 4chan in their spare time.

Sith Inquisitor: Guantanamo Bay Military Personnel

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They have ways of getting the information they need. Like sleep deprivation and careful use of "stress positions."

Renata Sancken is a staff writer for BuyStarWarsCostumes.com and she thinks that if Princess Leia were to have an occupation in our universe, she would do whatever it is Nancy Pelosi does.

Introducing Among the Sleep!

Written by Mark Del Rio Tuesday, 29 May 2012 12:10

Among the Sleep is a new survival horror game in development form Norwegian based Krillbite Studios. What makes this game so unique is that the entire game takes place in first-person from the perspective of a 2-year-old child!

One evening, after being put to sleep in your crib, “mysterious things” start to happen.  It’s not long before you are on the floor crawling around the house investigating said phenomena. An in-game teaser video on the website shows shadowy figures lurking about and strange noises hovering in the air. It’s all really fascinating. The border between reality and fantasy will be mixed seamlessly; expect both physical and mental challenges.

The game will be available on PC/Mac sometime next year; I can’t wait to play it. You can get more information at the official website (including screenshots): http://www.krillbite.com/ats/

What Are You Playing Memorial Weekend?

Written by GoozerNation Team Saturday, 26 May 2012 08:17

The GoozerNation team breaks down which games they are playing this weekend. What are you playing? Sound off in the forum by leaving a comment below.

Erik Kubik - I guess since I finished Diablo III I should go back to Mass Effect 3. Maybe I’ll try to finish RDR Undead Nightmare. I think I might start Resistance 3. And if the stars align I’ll either pick up Starhawk or Max Payne 3.

Craig Will - Unfortunately a holiday weekend when moving from one apartment to another means little to no time for games. What time I do have will probably be spent playing Rage of Bahumut (still) on my phone, Disgaea 3 on my Vita, and Dragon’s Dogma on the 360.

Mark Del Rio - I just finished Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine on my PC. I might check out some multiplayer or just go for a few more ‘chevies. I also have 1 more achievement to get in Trine 2. I might give that a spin. Other than that I have no new game on my horizon. Time to dig into my backlog.

Ryan Johnson - Still plugging away through MGS3. I had a two-hour marathon session and finished The End and The Fury. I gave up on the “no kills” for this playthrough when The Fear kept eating to recharge, so I ended up having some memorable moments on The End, such as lobbing a grenade up on the ledge he was on from underneath after he chastised me, and dropping three shotgun shells into him point blank at a time. The sniping part was very fun, but when I let loose with my explosive and close-combat rounds, it became a whole new battle, and a lot of fun. The Fury went down as a stamina kill though. This weekend, I hope to get a couple hours on MGS, but also do some Phoenix Wright. I beat the first two games on WiiWare, and forgot I bought the third!

Jon Morris - In addition to playing “how many cheeseburgers can one man possibly eat in a weekend,” I’ll also be trying to get through Nightmare mode on Diablo III and will likely begin Hell mode.  Like Erik, I hope to also jump back in and finish ME3 soon, and if things go well this weekend I may have the time to do it.  I am also moving soon, so sometime in the next week my gear will have to spend a few days in boxes, but if time permits I will get those two things done and also throw in a smattering of Tribes: Ascend, which incidentally is giving out double XP from Friday until Tuesday morning. I’m still waiting for Spiral Games to make Orion: Dino Beatdown playable for me.

Michael Rohde - Last night I popped in Ghost Recon Future Soldier and played the first couple of missions. It was OK. Tom Clancy games just aren’t what they used to be. For this weekend, I’ll probably go back to Minecraft and some MW3 multiplayer. I’ll probably play a few more missions of Future Soldier.

The Puzzling Success of Star Wars Kinect

Written by Erik Kubik, kube00 Thursday, 24 May 2012 06:00

Somewhere someone is laughing. Why? Well, Star Wars Kinect came out recently and it received average reviews. But for some reason this game has been selling like crazy, and the question is why?