Evolution of a Gamer Episode II: Evolution of a Father

Written by Ryan Johnson Wednesday, 17 November 2010 05:00

Dads have come a long way, but we have a long way to go, too. Ryan Johnson learns another lesson through teaching his son about gaming.

Dads have changed a lot through the years. I recently had a conversation with some friends of mine in their 80s: commenting on how Dad worked and that was it. Dad would occasionally go out to the pub after work when he wanted to, because he wanted to. Nothing negative was said; he wasn’t a drunk, it was just how it was for them.

I have a children’s book I will not show my son until he becomes a father himself. Simply entitled “Daddies,” it appears to be from the early 50s or even earlier. In that simple art style from that era, it talks about the fun things you do with Daddies: how they will take you to the store to buy an animal, but Mommy will help take care of it. How you let Daddy get home and sit and have his pipe and newspaper and not bother him for a while before he chooses to engage with you. This book is written for a beginner reader, and written in a light “lalala, this is the way the world works” yet very serious tone. Sure, Dads do fun stuff in this book, but there is a lot of propaganda putting Mom in her place and recognizing Daddy as the One in the household. I found this book at a yard sale, and was so appalled at it that I had to get it to show my son when he matures so he can see how far fathers have come and how important it is to have the modern outlook of parents.

I’ve got to admit, I’m still greedy when it comes to my video games. It’s my hobby, I’m getting him into my hobby, but...it’s MY stuff. When my son first started gaming, he wanted to play with my portable Nintendo DS. I envisioned slobber...drops to the floor...flushing...and was worried. My wonderful wife helped me get over those fears, and while my DS may have picky shoulder buttons now, it still works, and my son’s joy in the games is worth it all. I still had a problem with memory, though. A game can suck away a large part of your life. As much as I enjoy my games, I take a bit of pride in the clock hours displayed on my save files.

My son had gotten into my New Super Mario Bros. cartridge, as well as my wife’s copy of Nintendogs. I watched him like a hawk, but one day he came to me wanting “the doggy back” when he had in fact sent it off to the pound permanently, or whatever you do in that game. Doggy is GONE. Mommy’s doggy that she put a lot of time into back in the day. Mommy isn’t worried, it’s just a game, but that day when he deleted my perfect Mario save was hard for me. If it had been perfected but not beaten yet, I may have gotten upset, but I know that it’s a simple, fun game. Part of the joy is getting through the game, so it’s not too bad to do it again. I patiently teach my son what NOT to hit on the main menu and continue.

Fast forward to this last weekend. My boy picks up the DS when I’m not looking, and flicks it on. But Mario isn’t in there. It’s my recently Goozex-received copy of Final Fantasy III. For any parents linking to this site who don’t know games, Final Fantasy is a deeply story-driven experience, with a lot of technical aspects. It’s like reading and controlling a good book that takes you 80 hours to read, whilst micro-managing a group of adventurers. Menu based combat rounds off the list of “things that I think a four-year-old won’t like.” The hairs on the back of my neck bristle. I’m 10 hours in. Imagine getting a quarter of the way through a book, coming to a climactic part of it, then being forced to read the entire beginning of the book over again before getting to see what happens: this is my fate if my son deletes this memory. My greed and possessiveness started itching. I sat down with him and tried to show him what it was about; all he wanted to do was make the little man move around. I show him some fun little things, like hidden rooms where he had to walk through “the blackness” to get to them. He thought that was cool, and I figured, “hey, here’s another way for us to work together on something.”

Comments  

 

+2 # Matthew Rose 2010-11-17 13:47

Interesting article. I know where you are coming from with dads today and their general willingness to be more interactive or affectionate with their kids. I grew up in a household very much like the one you described in your article. I would just comment though that as more interactive and affectionate fathers we need to be careful not to throw off everything about the past just because of past abuses. Fathers of the past were hard-working men who lived and died for their country and to make society a better place for their kids.

I also believe that there is still a place for a father's leadership in the home, particularly in leadership by example, by being engaged with his wife and children as a priority, listening to and including everyone in the decision-making process. Too many dads still make work, video games or fantasy sports the end rather a means for relaxation to help them be better fathers.

Looking forward to reading more from you!

 

 

# Michael Rohde 2010-11-17 13:51

Very well said.

 

 

# Ryan Johnson 2010-11-19 03:42

Thanks for your comment. I agree with you. Dads still need to have a position of leadership. I note the difference between leadership and doing what you want. I've seen it in business, too, when a manager simply leads for "what's best for the company" and pays no heed to their subordinates. A Dad needs to be mature and still approachable....hmm...this is leading toward good material for another article. :)

 

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