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Preparing for the Next ApocalyPS3
Jason Trent, Associate Writer
March 11, 2010
It was February 29th, 2010 (at least that's what the PlayStation 3 thought the date was) when PlayStation 3's around the world revolted against their owners. As if the systems had become self-aware, they refused to entertain us any longer. I'm happy to report that 24 long hours after the problem began, it was over, and gamers were resumed their normal schedules of Modern Warfare 2 and other such hit titles. This day, now informally known as the apocalyPS3, opened my eyes. What if the PlayStation 3 had been my only means of gaming? Then what would have I done? Unfortunately, technology is not infallible, so although I'm sure Sony is hard at work developing a patch for this issue, similar issues could always come up on any game system you use. How will you prepare?
The first thing you need to remember is to stay calm. Whatever you do, don't panic. These next few moments could make or break your survival when all order fades from humanity. Take some time to quickly read trending twitter topics and message boards. After you're confident that this is indeed the next iteration of the apocalyPS3 or X-flop (I made that one up myself), don't give into temptation and start a flame war or some other equally childish coping mechanism. Instead, try to remember my following suggestions.
Before you start with the body shakes and cold sweats, the typical symptoms of gaming withdrawal, might I recommend a way to entertain that's not reliant on electricity or other intrinsically failure-prone technology? Sudoku, crossword puzzles, and word searches are fine and everything, but when it comes to simple entertainment, nothing beats Picross (these puzzles are actually called nonograms when not made by Nintendo). So, Google it, print some puzzles, and put them inside that fire-proof safe you keep the family photos in. While the world is on the verge of imploding on itself due to the madness that is the lack of entertainment, you'll be busily creating crude images of things such as clocks or maybe even strawberries. You'll thank me later I assure you.
If your other emergency gaming plans fall through, there's always the unpopular choice to go outside for fresh air. Keep in mind that if you opt to do this, you will inevitably be putting yourself and loved ones at risk. So what is there to actually do outside? I've heard that there are games out there called sports that test your physical endurance. I'm no expert, but it sounds awful, but everyone's different so it might be worth a try. Other things to try might include going on a pleasant walk with your loved ones (if you have any left at this point), and enjoying the simpler things in life. Maybe smell a flower or something. The sky's the limit I suppose.
If that's all a little too much of a change of scenery,maybe you might want to pick up a new hobby or project of some kind. Unfortunately, it's pretty tough to find a hobby or project that does not require modern technology. Perhaps trying your hand at learning acoustic guitar or another underpowered instrument. You can opt to play by ear, that works for a lot of people, but I'd recommend you print out tabs for your instrument of choice. If music isn't your thing, you might try painting. Self expressions seem to be pretty big these days, so maybe you can vent your pain and anguish through illustrations.
If these suggestions have made anything clear, it's that the world without video games would be a world that I'd not want to live in. I know what you're thinking. Yes, these are great ideas. How did I come up with them? Every day at work feels like the end of the world for me. I have to keep myself entertained. It's just survival. Remember this: it's not if there will be another apocalyPS3, it's when. Be prepared.
