Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland Review

Amy Nelson, Associate Writer

March 31, 2010

I know you're thinking I'm a little late to this party, but give me a break here. I have 5 children--I haven't been on time for a single thing in over 12 years. So just relax and drink the kool aid, man. The hubby's a big Tim Burton fan (TMI, I have Jack Skellington underwear) so we decided to ditch the minions with Grandma and head to the theater. Of course, this whole process took several weeks, which is why my review is a wee bit tardy. But hey, all you thrifty consumers holding out for the DVD are way ahead of the game.

Anyhoo, you might be shocked when I say this about a Tim Burton film, but the whole thing is a bit weird. Not "singing barbers bake people into pies" weird, though. More like "confused robot with scissors for hands" weird. This adaptation of the Lewis Carrol story focuses on Alice as a young adult, not a child. The story progresses somewhat as expected from there. Well, if you expected it to be almost nothing like the original, that is. Being the cultured soul that I am, I have never read the original, so I base all my observations of trueness to the story on the Disney version, of course. It's the American way.

Although there are a few somewhat scary monsters and the whole thing is pretty dark, there is little really objectionable content, so it is safe to bring kids to this show. However, I don't think they will really like it all that much, so you'd better buy than some popcorn and candy to keep them busy while you watch it.

Alice takes a rather peculiar path to falling down the rabbit hole, and then proceeds upon her mission to both save Wonderland and find the "true Alice." Aahh, it's like one of those after-school specials about self-esteem, only with a really creepy Johnny Depp looking at Alice in ways that seem somewhat wrong. While the visuals are classic Tim Burton, I don't think the 3D gimmick added anything to the film. The story is a bit convoluted, as Alice meets many different animals along the way that aid her cause. Enemies become friends as they fall sway to Alice's winning ways and sweet demeanor. Speaking of sweet demeanor, Anne Hathaway is a winner as the White Queen, playing her role so ridiculously cliched that the movie enters the coveted, "it's so bad it's good category." Bravo, Ms. Hathaway, Bravo.

After suffering the Mad Hatter's leering glares, turning nearly everyone in the film into her allies, and of course, finding her true self, Alice takes on the battle to save Wonderland. I won't give away any spoilers here, but she doesn't die a horrible, agonizing death (Where would that leave the sequel?). Does Alice stay in Wonderland and become the Mad Hattress? Does she marry the rich but boring lord with the intestinal blockages? Does Alice and the hookah-smoking caterpillar open a coffee bar featuring spoken word artists? You'll have to watch the movie to find out. Really, cause I won't tell you. In fact, I'm still a little confused myself. Classic Tim Burton.